Being “had” by Diane Benscoter

Being “had”

Being “had” by Diane BenscoterLet’s face it; we have all been taken advantage of one time or another.  No matter how cunning you are, come on admit it, at one time or another you have bought the snake oil.  You have been “had”.

Maybe not as badly as me, probably not as badly as me, but it must have happened.  You believed the person you loved was telling you the truth when they were cheating on you, or you bought into some pyramid scheme that was supposed to make you rich, or you thought Santa Clause brought you toys for being good.  It was probably frustrating and disappointing when you realized what you thought you were getting wasn’t as expected.

I bought into a religious cult’s bill of goods; hook, line and sinker.  It was the right set of circumstances.  I was fair prey, swimming around looking for something to be part of.  Imagine my surprise, five years later, when I realized it was a lie.

After years of thinking about it though, I now know it was more complex than a lie.  What I went through shared some of the same characteristics as we all experience from time to time when we buy into something that isn’t really as advertised.

What intrigues me now is cognition.  What I experienced was not just falling for a fast talking used car salesman’s pitch.  I was trapped.  I was a slave being held by invisible chains.  These invisible chains resided somewhere in my brain where decision making takes place.

If we can understand this we are onto something very important.

2 replies
  1. Wendy
    Wendy says:

    ‘Chains’ are a great analogy and has helped me see more clearly why I didn’t leave the group and arranged marriage so easily, and why even now I sometimes feel the possibility of returning as the chains , psychological and emotional, were never completely severed within my brain. its that circular, fear based thinking, black and white, them and us. I am now ‘them’ which mostly I rejoice in. Othertimes I deal with anxious panic that I may be doomed. Fallen and a Failure. The power of indoctrination. I will keep peeling back the layers of the onion or should I say keep cutting those chains.

  2. Dennis
    Dennis says:

    Invisible chains. I like that! As a child, I had invisible chains attached to my mother and father…. and over time, I quietly replaced them with rubber bands, which gives me more flexibility.

    Some of the issues for people joining are in their mind, they are an outcast, a loner, a reject, a failure, not loved, blah blah blah.HOWEVER, they hear:
    “You have been called by God.”
    “Through our combined efforts, “We are world changers”
    “We need you, society needs you, GOD NEEDS YOU”
    “Do you want a meaningless life, or do you want to work for GOD?”


    Many of the “joiners” have gone through years of education, where the educators tell the students how to think. Little wonder that people with lack of life experience have problems for thinking, deciding, or acting for themselves.

    Will it include how SM Moon`s children:
    1) committed suicide
    2) used prostitutes
    3) had various affairs
    4) married after death
    5) studied theology, even though his father didn’t need to

    Tell a tree by its fruit!
    Matthew 12:33

    I don`t quite understand where you are leading with your book, but I truly believe it will have some beneficial elements. I just hope you have a deep understanding of the Middle East Cultures.

    I look forward to it being published.


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